It's become clear that I'm a huge slacker as I have not managed to put anything up here in several weeks. I've been a little busy starting my job and really unimportant things like that. I have cooked but I have just been a little too lazy to put anything up here. That's not true, I would have put them up here except that I'm extremely particular. I take issue with recipes that don't include a picture of the finished product. I have cooked but not photographed and can't bring myself to share something if I can't show you what it looks like. That's a whole lot of explanation!
In order to make up for the lack of recipes (and because I had requests) here's something that I was told might be beneficial to others. On the tails of my adorable child explaining the story of Cinderella in her own words, I was confronted with the reality that Dave doesn't actually have any idea what most Disney movies are about (he knows Little Mermaid but I think he's interested in that one because of her wardrobe choices, not that he finds princess movies compelling). So here's a little help for the adult out there who may not know what the heck it is that their child is watching. I will preface this by saying I am really not making this up:
Snow White:
Snow White is a princess in some made up place at some random time that I think is described as being "long ago." Her step-mom is the queen and her father seems to be out of the picture. Step-mom looks like she's had an over-zealous eyebrow lift which fits because she's obsessed with being the prettiest lady in the kingdom. One day a floating face in the mirror tells her that Snow White is better looking than she is and she goes ballistic. Here's where I would say she's reacting badly to the news; she hires a hunter to kill Snow White and tells him to cut out Snow White's heart and bring it back to prove she's dead.
Cut to Snow White who is wearing an outfit that makes her look like a Dutch woman (big clogs) who likes patchwork clothing (meant to look like rags, I guess). She's hanging out outside and talking to animals. She sings a song down a wishing well and a "handsome stranger" is secretly watching her. Crazy man decides that the best way to introduce himself is to sneak up behind her while she's singing at a well (doesn't this sound like a recipe for "woman falls head-first down a well and obtains traumatic brain injury?"). Understandably she is a little freaked out and runs away. She is still curious so she peaks out of her window and they fall madly in love over a song. At some point he must just leave though because that's the end of that.
Moving on, Snow White and the hunter go out for a "walk," she starts talking to birds again, he tries to kill her but he can't do it, he tells her to run away and never come back, and then he goes off to kill a pig because he needs the heart for the Queen (seriously, I'm not kidding). Snow White runs through the woods at night and gets really freaked out before passing out. She wakes up and a forest full of animals are creepily watching her sleep. She asks the animals where she will be able to sleep and they show her the Dwarfs' house. She illegally enters the premises and makes fun of them for being sloppy and ridicules their size ("these must be messy little children").
In a move that seems a little wacky, she cleans the home of perfect strangers and then falls asleep in one of their beds. The Dwarfs come home and find her there. They are a little surprised but they take the news well. They are going to let her stay because she says she'll cook dinner. Snow White makes the Dwarfs wash their hands for the first time in their lives and they hate it. She lets them eat dinner. Then they have a yodeling dance party. It's all very surreal.
The next morning the Dwarfs go to work and Snow White settles into life as a homemaker. She still wants the stalker prince to come along and find her and she is sure to tell the animals about him any chance she gets. As she is daydreaming about going off to a palace somewhere with a strange prince she barely knows, an old woman shows up out of nowhere. It's obviously the evil step mom who seems to now have magical powers in addition to the floating face in the mirror. She looks hideous and mean but Snow White is gullible and lets her in the house. With very little pushing the creepy "old lady" convinces Snow White to eat this poisoned apple. Snow White falls on the floor and is dead. The animals go get the Dwarfs at work and make them come home. They find her, they are sad, they chase the queen/step mom/witch lady off a cliff (really).
Now here is where is gets INSANE. The Dwarfs put her in her bed because they don't know what to do with her. They end up building an above-ground see-though casket for her dead body because they think that she is too pretty to bury. Gross! They put her in the nasty shrine and bring her new flowers every day. Then the prince rides up one day (he's been searching the land for the girl he harassed at a well). He sees Snow White, he opens the casket, he gets the odd impulse to kiss her, then she wakes up magically. Immediately upon awakening she says goodbye to the Dwarfs, gets on the prince's horse and rides away. Talk about a quick turn around.
I didn't remember a lot of those details about that movie and was a little surprised when I watched it with Jo. I hope that my synopsis helps you better understand and answer all the questions your child is going to ask you. I am still trying to figure out how to explain why dead people wake up when you kiss them. If I think up something brilliant I will be sure to post it!
